Bachelor Party

[RochesterRob]

  Not talking the type that is put on for grandpa and the neighbors.  I'm invited to a bachelor party in July and am kind off wondering as to what some of the current protocol is.  Specifically female entertainment (not "close" entertainment) along the lines of strippers and "performers."  Used to be cover charge took care of everything and girls were not looking for tips.  Not being held at a strip club by the way but have heard that at some private parties girls were aggressive in terms of tips.  Also, not looking for private interaction of any kind.  I know parties like these can go off the rails and I do not want to get the hosts or my fellow guests mad at me for pissing off a woman.  I just want to function with a minimum of problems and not coming on to brag.  I'm just trying to get informed and not lose friends.  I don't have a better place to ask but understand the talk needs to be kept fairly clean.  Hopefully, no young and impressionable kids reading this.  

[Ann]

Why do I think that @Jabba The Hutt is the guy to ask?

[ExiledInIllinois]

You probably should be asking grandpa and the neighbors, probably closer to the answers you're looking for... You'd be shocked at what kind they'd put back in the day. Probably tamer now.

 

😆

 

 

 

Edited May 1, 2023 by ExiledInIllinois

[Jabba The Hutt]

Bring a few rolls of pennies and try not to bite anybody

[RochesterRob]

3 hours ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

You probably should be asking grandpa and the neighbors, probably closer to the answers you're looking for... You'd be shocked at what kind they'd put back in the day. Probably tamer now.

 

😆

 

 

 

  I doubt very much there were any wild going-on's back in the day around here out in the sticks.  I don't consider beer and liquor as wild.  Yeah, on average even the wild ones are tamer than what they were decades ago.  Two rules of thumb are don't do anything to draw the cops if possible and don't piss off the women that are there to work.  Getting a party shut down or making the women leave early will have everybody PO'd and guys have been known to have gotten beaten up over it.  

[Ann]

58 minutes ago, RochesterRob said:

  I doubt very much there were any wild going-on's back in the day around here out in the sticks.  I don't consider beer and liquor as wild.  Yeah, on average even the wild ones are tamer than what they were decades ago.  Two rules of thumb are don't do anything to draw the cops if possible and don't piss off the women that are there to work.  Getting a party shut down or making the women leave early will have everybody PO'd and guys have been known to have gotten beaten up over it.  

Why not ask the best man? He can tell you who is being invited for entertainment and how much tipping is expected for the ladies. 

[RochesterRob]

2 minutes ago, Ann said:

Why not ask the best man? He can tell you who is being invited for entertainment and how much tipping is expected for the ladies. 

  I already know the official policy but anymore it is common for dancers to push to the limit in what they can squeeze out of guys and are willing to make a scene to get what they want.  Nobody is going to tell a hot girl to go home over it seeing how most of the guys have not seen their own wives' goods in a very long time.  It worked better when each girl had her own tip cup at the bar and they were not always watching what the guys are leaving them.  The biggest problem is the amount of money the girls get.  It is very serious cash and in times past the more exotic performers probably were top wage earners in their community.  In the big cities like NY and Boston an agency is hired but around here at least in past times this was all in the shadows with no set fees.  If business was good they could ask for a couple thousand for 4 girls for a hour or hour and a half.  If business was slow they would work for less and throw in an extra girl.  The girls always seem to know each other regardless of their specialty.  The bottom line here is the dancers work for tips but the rate is not set.  Girls have been known to reach into the pockets of the guys they dance with to retrieve what they think is a fair tip.  

[Ann]

15 minutes ago, RochesterRob said:

  I already know the official policy but anymore it is common for dancers to push to the limit in what they can squeeze out of guys and are willing to make a scene to get what they want.  Nobody is going to tell a hot girl to go home over it seeing how most of the guys have not seen their own wives' goods in a very long time.  It worked better when each girl had her own tip cup at the bar and they were not always watching what the guys are leaving them.  The biggest problem is the amount of money the girls get.  It is very serious cash and in times past the more exotic performers probably were top wage earners in their community.  In the big cities like NY and Boston an agency is hired but around here at least in past times this was all in the shadows with no set fees.  If business was good they could ask for a couple thousand for 4 girls for a hour or hour and a half.  If business was slow they would work for less and throw in an extra girl.  The girls always seem to know each other regardless of their specialty.  The bottom line here is the dancers work for tips but the rate is not set.  Girls have been known to reach into the pockets of the guys they dance with to retrieve what they think is a fair tip.  

A couple thousand for an hour, hour and a half!? I was in the wrong line of work. 💃

Maybe stay away from the girls if you are worried about a scene or being pickpocketed? 

[RochesterRob]

4 minutes ago, Ann said:

A couple thousand for an hour, hour and a half!? I was in the wrong line of work. 💃

Maybe stay away from the girls if you are worried about a scene or being pickpocketed? 

  The really exotic performers do things that 95 percent of women would never do in public or private.  But they are the ones who get the BIG money.  That is all up front and part of the cover charge.  Guys always ask questions when they are asked to put up 50 bucks or more for a coverage charge.  The cover charge for this event is 125 dollars and 75-100 guys are invited.  Probably 25-30 bucks is for an hour or two open bar plus a small buffet.   There will be couple of barmaids and dancers there working for tips.  Dancers will come out on the dance floor and dance with a guy for one song for a tip.  All women are expected to dress HOT.  

[KD in CA]

Admittedly it's been a while since I attended one of these but I've been to a few including one in a hotel suite in Vegas where anything was possible.  In my experience, if they are just dancing there will be a pre arranged fee, and one guy (best man) should be responsible for tipping them at the end if they are good.

 

If they are providing 'individual' services in the back room, that's a 1:1 negotiation with each dude who utilizes their services.

 

As an attendee I don't see how you'd be expected to cough up anything more than your attendance fee, or kick in if the best man is disorganized and needs everyone to contribute at the end of the night.

[RochesterRob]

  The bottom line is the girls have the leverage as not very many hot girls want to dance with a guy holding her.   Never mind the girls up on the stage expected to take off their tops or the ones "playing" off in a corner with each other.   Around here personal "interaction" is discouraged or expected to be off site.  Fewer pissed off wives and girlfriends to call the cops that way. 

[Koko]

If you're worried about the party, just do what everyone does when they have an upcoming court date: "catch" COVID.

[Foxx]

Just don't have it in Bankok, and you *should be alright.

 

[RochesterRob]

16 minutes ago, Koko said:

If you're worried about the party, just do what everyone does when they have an upcoming court date: "catch" COVID.

  I'm not worried to the point where I want to bail out.  I just want everything to go smooth.  I also don't want to hear a pitch for 25 dollars dressed up as she needs to have 25 dollars to pay the utility bill or 25 dollars to go buy stuff at Wegman's.  But I will politely listen IF I have to.  I don't approach dancers as a rule but that is not going to stop a dancer from coming up to me.  I thought this might be a topic that others may be interested in and my day does not have much going on so I can check up on the thread somewhat.

Edited May 1, 2023 by RochesterRob

[Koko]

2 minutes ago, RochesterRob said:

  I'm not worried to the point where I want to bail out.  I just want everything to go smooth.  I also don't want to hear a pitch for 25 dollars dressed up as she needs to have 25 dollars to pay the utility bill or 25 dollars to go buy stuff at Wegman's.  But I will politely listen IF I have to.  I don't approach dancers as a rule but that is not going to stop a dancer from coming up to me.  I thought this might be a topic that others may be interested and my day does not have much going on so I can check up on the thread somewhat.

 

C'mon man, they're all just poor girls trying to work their way through law/medical/acting school!

[RochesterRob]

1 minute ago, Koko said:

 

C'mon man, they're all just poor girls trying to work their way through law/medical/acting school!

  The good exotic performers (notice that I did not say dancers) should be the ones giving lessons at acting school.  

[LB3]

The last one of these I went to was about ten years ago. Do not piss of her "manager". He'll probably be holding. He's who we paid her "appearance fee" to. Avoid that dude as much as possible. She still received tips. Follow the rules they give you. They usually tell you about the etiquette they expect.

 

Watch how everyone else acts. There is always one guy who is not comfortable at all and one who is way too comfortable. Find a middle ground that suits you. Just don't be the guy that gets pulled into the show, but if you are, make sure your undies are clean. 😉

Edited May 16, 2023 by LB3

[RochesterRob]

7 hours ago, LB3 said:

The last one of these I went to was about ten years ago. Do not piss of her "manager". He'll probably be holding. He's who we paid her "appearance fee" to. Avoid that dude as much as possible. She still received tips. Follow the rules they give you. They usually tell you about the etiquette they expect.

 

Watch how everyone else acts. There is always one guy who is not comfortable at all and one who is way too comfortable. Find a middle ground that suits you. Just don't be the guy that gets pulled into the show, but if you are, make sure your undies are clean. 😉

  I've never been to one where a "manager" was obvious.  Seems like that the girls are their own manager.  If entertainers can work for more than a tip then they will offer a more "expansive" show.  If a guy is there it is typically an off duty bar bouncer to keep order with any touchy-feely types that may be attending.   I usually just try to stay back from the "action."  I never had a problem in the past but a couple guys said that entertainers are more aggressive nowadays.  I will report back after the event but most likely despite all the hype it will just be another lame show.  

[LB3]

On 5/16/2023 at 7:23 PM, RochesterRob said:

  I've never been to one where a "manager" was obvious.  Seems like that the girls are their own manager.  If entertainers can work for more than a tip then they will offer a more "expansive" show.  If a guy is there it is typically an off duty bar bouncer to keep order with any touchy-feely types that may be attending.   I usually just try to stay back from the "action."  I never had a problem in the past but a couple guys said that entertainers are more aggressive nowadays.  I will report back after the event but most likely despite all the hype it will just be another lame show.  

Good luck bud. I'm sure it'll be fun.

[RochesterRob]

  The party was so tame that I forgot to update the thread until now.  Just scantily dressed bar maids and nothing further.  A lot of talk and very little action by the groom's party.  At least the food was very good and open bar for 2 hours.