A Quick Laugh to Get By

[plenzmd1]

On 6/12/2021 at 12:54 PM, LB3 said:

Suns in four! 🤣🤣

he is on PMT this morning...have not listened yet, but sure it will be funny!

 

 

 

[Keukasmallie]

[Keukasmallie]

[B-Man]

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Foxx]

Well shit.. I think my license might be in jeopardy.. 
and all just because of a stupid state trooper...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike:
Trooper: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"
Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."
Trooper: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"
Me: "A car."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"So, you're drunk."
Me:"But I didn't drink anything."
Trooper:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?
Me:"A motorcycle."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"
Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.
Me: "So... counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"
Trooper:"A prostitute of course."
Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"
Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...

 

Dedicated to my friend, @Fansince88

[Fansince88]

1 hour ago, Foxx said:

Well shit.. I think my license might be in jeopardy.. 
and all just because of a stupid state trooper...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike:
Trooper: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"
Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."
Trooper: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"
Me: "A car."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"So, you're drunk."
Me:"But I didn't drink anything."
Trooper:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?
Me:"A motorcycle."
Trooper:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"
Me:"I have no idea!"
Trooper:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"
Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.
Me: "So... counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"
Trooper:"A prostitute of course."
Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"
Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...

 

Dedicated to my friend, @Fansince88

I ride a Honda Shadow BTW!

[Foxx]

1 minute ago, Fansince88 said:

I ride a Honda Shadow BTW!

See, you're not drunk!

[Hitbyaparkedcar]

I the early 2000s we were visiting with the in laws out west. My middle daughter (3 or 4 years old at the time) mistakenly walked in on grandpa taking a wiz in the bathroom. I heard him shoo her out, so I went to see what she did now...

 

She was in the hallway with a puzzled look on her face, when she saw me she matter of factly asked, Daddy, how does grandpa pee out of his finger like that? 

 

She won a cookie and a distraction talk for that one 🙂

[MothersMilk]

On 6/19/2021 at 11:38 AM, B-Man said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pretty sure that anyone who didn't see the news clip won't get this one.

[devnull]

On 6/19/2021 at 11:38 AM, B-Man said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Probably not gonna get many laughs, but this would have been my reaction

 

[B-Man]

 

 

 

 

 

 

[GG1]

 

[Uncle Joe]

On 6/28/2021 at 5:28 AM, GG1 said:

 

Woman with sign who caused massive Tour de France crash reportedly arrested
https://www.espn.com/olympics/cycling/story/_/id/31737898/woman-sign-caused-massive-tour-de-france-crash-reportedly-arrested

[Hitbyaparkedcar]

5 hours ago, Uncle Joe said:

Woman with sign who caused massive Tour de France crash reportedly arrested
https://www.espn.com/olympics/cycling/story/_/id/31737898/woman-sign-caused-massive-tour-de-france-crash-reportedly-arrested

I finally looked at that stupid sequence. Is it me, or did that moron on the bike try to throw an elbow at a cardboard sign, thus losing control? No wonder HE caused that crash. Leave the dumb lady alone.

[Uncle Joe]

2 hours ago, Hitbyaparkedcar said:

I finally looked at that stupid sequence. Is it me, or did that moron on the bike try to throw an elbow at a cardboard sign, thus losing control? No wonder HE caused that crash. Leave the dumb lady alone.

Signed,

Hitbyaparkedcar

 

[B-Man]

 

The_Dude helps out at the "hotline"

 

 

[Keukasmallie]

[Keukasmallie]

[MothersMilk]

[MothersMilk]