afc east *Patriots Ch(e)at

[Fansince88]

On 8/1/2022 at 9:52 AM, Ann said:

 

Whaddayamean? All good GMs have most of their team salary cap tied up in wide receivers and punters. 

The guy is a genius! 

[Alaska Darin]

 

[B-Man]

5 Under-the-radar Patriots making an early roster push

Here are five Patriots you might not have heard of that are making an impression during the first week of Training Camp.

 

 

[Ann]

On so many levels this is not a good story:

 

Ex-Patriot Rich Ohrnberger crashed his car to avoid Bill Belichick’s wrath

 

Rich Ohrnberger knew that he would be late for work, so in hopes of saving his job, the ex-Patriots offensive lineman opted for a rather unconventional strategy: Crashing his car. 

 

On his radio program, “The Hartman & Rich O Show,” Ohrnberger recalled Bill Belichick’s demand for punctuality — and the fear that he felt one morning after oversleeping. 

 

“I wake up, my phone died overnight, and I realize I’m waking up to the sound of birds chirping and not my alarm going off,” Ohrnberger said. “I am frantic. I don’t even bother looking at the clock, I know I’m late.” 

 

</snip>
 

“I’m five minutes to being officially late, and I’ve got a 15 minute drive ahead of me,” Ohrnberger remembered. “I’m gonna be 10 minutes late for this day. I have this sinking feeling in my stomach like, ‘I’m gonna be cut. [Belichick’s] not gonna have me on this football team come tomorrow. What do I do?’”

 

</snip>

 

“I see a church van in front of me that’s all dinged up and it’s got the black smoke coming out of the exhaust pipe and I’m like, ‘I’m gonna hit this car,’” Ohrnberger recalled amidst laughter. “… It’s better to pay the insurance than embarrass myself by being late for a Patriots team meeting.” 

 

And so Ohrnberger took his Chevy Tahoe and rear-ended the van. He “didn’t hit him hard,” just enough to produce a slight dent in Ohrnberger’s bumper, obtaining vital proof of the crash. 

 

</snip>

[Alaska Darin]

This is pretty damn funny and it one of the reasons Pat's show is so successful.

 

 

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

56 minutes ago, Ann said:

On so many levels this is not a good story:

 

Ex-Patriot Rich Ohrnberger crashed his car to avoid Bill Belichick’s wrath

 

Rich Ohrnberger knew that he would be late for work, so in hopes of saving his job, the ex-Patriots offensive lineman opted for a rather unconventional strategy: Crashing his car. 

 

On his radio program, “The Hartman & Rich O Show,” Ohrnberger recalled Bill Belichick’s demand for punctuality — and the fear that he felt one morning after oversleeping. 

 

“I wake up, my phone died overnight, and I realize I’m waking up to the sound of birds chirping and not my alarm going off,” Ohrnberger said. “I am frantic. I don’t even bother looking at the clock, I know I’m late.” 

 

</snip>
 

“I’m five minutes to being officially late, and I’ve got a 15 minute drive ahead of me,” Ohrnberger remembered. “I’m gonna be 10 minutes late for this day. I have this sinking feeling in my stomach like, ‘I’m gonna be cut. [Belichick’s] not gonna have me on this football team come tomorrow. What do I do?’”

 

</snip>

 

“I see a church van in front of me that’s all dinged up and it’s got the black smoke coming out of the exhaust pipe and I’m like, ‘I’m gonna hit this car,’” Ohrnberger recalled amidst laughter. “… It’s better to pay the insurance than embarrass myself by being late for a Patriots team meeting.” 

 

And so Ohrnberger took his Chevy Tahoe and rear-ended the van. He “didn’t hit him hard,” just enough to produce a slight dent in Ohrnberger’s bumper, obtaining vital proof of the crash. 

 

</snip>

 

Legally, that's vehicular assault. 

 

And "Bill Belichick made me commit vehicular assault" isn't all that surprising to me.   

[Alaska Darin]

4 minutes ago, Crap Throwing Clavin said:

 

Legally, that's vehicular assault. 

 

And "Bill Belichick made me commit vehicular assault" isn't all that surprising to me.   

"My fear of Bill Belichick holding me accountable made me commit vehicular assault."

 

It amazes me that adults can't figure out how to set more than one alarm.

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

1 minute ago, Alaska Darin said:

"My fear of Bill Belichick holding me accountable made me commit vehicular assault."

 

It amazes me that adults can't figure out how to set more than one alarm.

 

"I overslept because my phone died."

 

Or charge their phone.

 

Edit: and...he got cut anyway.

Edited August 5, 2022 by Crap Throwing Clavin

[Foxx]

...

 

[Ann]

You hate to see it.  

[Alaska Darin]

1 hour ago, Ann said:

You hate to see it.  

Is it:

 

1.  Not having hired a real offensive coordinator after losing Daniels to Vegas?

2.  Using Matt Patricia as the current defacto OC when he's spent his career on the other side of the ball (when he's not ruining other franchises)?

 

 

[Ann]

This thread…

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Fansince88]

On 8/6/2022 at 10:29 AM, Ann said:

You hate to see it.  

This set of replies cracks me up! 

[Deranged Rhino]

On 8/5/2022 at 8:03 PM, Foxx said:

...

 

 

On 8/6/2022 at 7:29 AM, Ann said:

You hate to see it.  

[Ann]

More from the Cheats:

 

[Nanker]

5 minutes ago, Ann said:

More from the Cheats:

 

Such a shame. 
It’s a shame that this isn’t televised in prime time on every major network. 

[Ann]

13 minutes ago, Nanker said:

Such a shame. 
It’s a shame that this isn’t televised in prime time on every major network. 

It's the hoodie playing 4D chess so no one knows how good the team really is. 

 

 

[Nanker]

1 minute ago, Ann said:

It's the hoodie playing 4D chess so no one knows how good the team really is. 

 

 

It’s The Hoodie’s revenge on Kraft for letting his meal ticket walk away. 
Should be a thoroughly great season of popcorn eating. Chomp, Chomp!  

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

2 hours ago, Ann said:

More from the Cheats:

 

 

He actually did better in the playoff game. 

[Alaska Darin]