Hollywoke -- A thread for Tinseltown's Tailspin into Televangelism

[Ann]

16 minutes ago, Deranged Rhino said:

 

I would have gone to see it in a theater. 🙂 

 

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

3 hours ago, Deranged Rhino said:

 

 

Yeah...like Nic Cage would be in National Treasure 3.  

 

Disney would "reimagine" it with a lesbian lead pursuing the Great American Historical McGuffin that proves Betsy Ross, not George Washington, really was our first President.  

 

(Which I'd watch, by the way, if the lesbian's love interest was still Diane Kruger.)

[Deranged Rhino]

44 minutes ago, Crap Throwing Clavin said:

 

Yeah...like Nic Cage would be in National Treasure 3.  

 

Disney would "reimagine" it with a lesbian lead pursuing the Great American Historical McGuffin that proves Betsy Ross, not George Washington, really was our first President.  

 

(Which I'd watch, by the way, if the lesbian's love interest was still Diane Kruger.)

 

They did that already with the + series pretty much. 

 

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

9 minutes ago, Deranged Rhino said:

 

They did that already with the + series pretty much. 

 

 

There was a series?

 

&#%$ Disney.

[Deranged Rhino]

17 minutes ago, Crap Throwing Clavin said:

 

There was a series?

 

&#%$ Disney.

 

Yeah - I didn't see it but read the pilot. They (of course) turned an unabashedly pro-American history franchise into a story about how American history whitewashed the evils it perpetrated on the world, especially the indigenous people. 

 

National Treasure: Edge of History expands on the National Treasure movie franchise told from the point of view of young Jess, a brilliant and resourceful DREAMer in search of answers about her family - who embarks on the adventure of a lifetime to uncover the truth about the past and save a lost Pan-American treasure. Jess will partner with her friends, Oren, Ethan, and her best friend, harboring a crush on her since childhood, Liam, to discover their search will lead them into a more profound mystery than they were prepared for.

 

https://screenrant.com/tag/national-treasure-tv-series/#:~:text=National Treasure%3A Edge of History expands on the National Treasure,a lost Pan-American treasure.

 

 

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

1 minute ago, Deranged Rhino said:

 

Yeah - I didn't see it but read the pilot. They (of course) turned an unabashedly pro-American history franchise into a story about how American history whitewashed the evils it perpetrated on the world, especially the indigenous people. 

 

National Treasure: Edge of History expands on the National Treasure movie franchise told from the point of view of young Jess, a brilliant and resourceful DREAMer in search of answers about her family - who embarks on the adventure of a lifetime to uncover the truth about the past and save a lost Pan-American treasure. Jess will partner with her friends, Oren, Ethan, and her best friend, harboring a crush on her since childhood, Liam, to discover their search will lead them into a more profound mystery than they were prepared for.

 

https://screenrant.com/tag/national-treasure-tv-series/#:~:text=National Treasure%3A Edge of History expands on the National Treasure,a lost Pan-American treasure.

 

 

 

This is so goddamn stupid it makes me genuinely angry.

 

The truly stupid thing is they keep recycling these same stupid woke plots and characters, and calling it "original" and a "reimagining."  It's not original, and there's no creativity to it, because you've recycled the same shit for EVERY property you've green-lit over the past twelve years.

 

"What if we did the same story...but with underrepresented oppressed minority characters with absolutely no character flaws and no character arc!  That'd be new and different!"  No, it wouldn't be, not after the 200th time. 

 

That's the stupidity that makes me angry.  

[B-Man]

 

 

Of course.

 

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

7 hours ago, B-Man said:

 

 

Of course.

 

 

Okay.  It's a perfectly valid story concept that, if done correctly (spoiler alert: it won't be), could be interesting...

 

 

...wait, what?  "TikTok's favorite actress?"  What the &#%$ does that even mean?

[B-Man]

1 hour ago, Crap Throwing Clavin said:

 

Okay.  It's a perfectly valid story concept that, if done correctly (spoiler alert: it won't be), could be interesting...

 

 

...wait, what?  "TikTok's favorite actress?"  What the &#%$ does that even mean?

 

 

I was not really referring to the story line, but to the time of release.

 

(not accidental)

 

. 

[B-Man]

 

[Hedge]

On 2/29/2024 at 3:49 PM, Hedge said:

 

The complaint: https://www.digitalmusicnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/diddy-v-jones-sexual-assault-complaint-feb-2024.pdf

 

I've just skimmed the first ~30 pages and...wow.

 

 

 

 

 

Related to the above?

 

 

 

[Deranged Rhino]

[devnull]

20 hours ago, Deranged Rhino said:

 

 

 

[Uncle Joe]

I have a hard time replacing Jeff Healy and Sam Elliot. But hey at least the new owner is a black female.

 

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

1 hour ago, Uncle Joe said:

I have a hard time replacing Jeff Healy and Sam Elliot. But hey at least the new owner is a black female.

 

 

Putting two stripes of makeup on Jake Gyllenhaal's neck does not make him look tough.

[Deranged Rhino]

46 minutes ago, Crap Throwing Clavin said:

 

Putting two stripes of makeup on Jake Gyllenhaal's neck does not make him look tough.

 

Watching it made me wish that Jake had played Spider-Man back in the day. Only because his quips/tough talk during the fights were almost too Peter Parker to be anything but hilarious. And McGregor was on a different planet for every one of his scenes. I'm not sure if Liman wanted him play tough that way, or if McGregor just did it and no one wanted to say anything - but even the way he walks is absurd. He walked bow-legged in every shot and apparently decided his defining character trait is an inability to use the brake on any vehicle he gets behind the wheel of.  

 

It's a sold 4/10 - but it goes up to a 6 if you're just there to snark over the movie.  

[B-Man]

 

 

 

 

 

.

[4merper4mer]

8 hours ago, B-Man said:

 

 

 

 

 

.

1. There are theaters on Mars?

2. Who exactly is getting in this guy’s way if he tries to get in without a ticket?

 

And for @Crap Throwing Clavin

 

3. He could have quantum stopped these movies from being made in the first place if he quantum wanted to bad enough so he should stop quantum complaining.

[devnull]

1 hour ago, 4merper4mer said:

1. There are theaters on Mars?

 

Are you sure that's Mars and not Uranus?

[Fansince88]

9 hours ago, devnull said:

 

Are you sure that's Mars and not Uranus?

Im pretty sure if it wasnt Mars you would feel it.

Edited March 31 by Fansince88