afc east Dolphins Chat

[IDBillzFan]

What in the hell is this shit? It's like watching a teenager Facetime a chick he's about to meet at The Bunny Ranch.

 

 

[IDBillzFan]

 

[Alaska Darin]

28 minutes ago, IDBillzFan said:

What in the hell is this shit? It's like watching a teenager Facetime a chick he's about to meet at The Bunny Ranch.

 

 

I loved Tua's response.  I knew that dude was a baby.

[Uncle Joe]

1 hour ago, IDBillzFan said:

What in the hell is this shit? It's like watching a teenager Facetime a chick he's about to meet at The Bunny Ranch.

 

 

In other news Tua changes his name to Nicolaus Iamaleava and goes back to college football. 

[IDBillzFan]

This is funny.

 

 

[Alaska Darin]

2 minutes ago, IDBillzFan said:

This is funny.

 

 

Pretty clear generational differences.

 

My first baseball season was T-ball.  Everyone had to play every position.  So it was my turn to play catcher, which totally sucks in T-Ball but whatever.

 

So the first inning I'm playing catcher, one of the kids hits the ball and literally fires the bat right at me.  I catch it square across my chest and it smashes both upper arms as well.  I go down in a heap and I can barely breathe.  I come up bawling because I'm in so much pain.

 

My mother comes over, gets down on one knee and tells me to quit bawling like a baby because I'm embarrassing her.

 

I had bruises across my chest and biceps for awhile but at least they healed.  The scars on my inner child are pretty much forever.  😄

[IDBillzFan]

1 minute ago, Alaska Darin said:

Pretty clear generational differences.

 

My first baseball season was T-ball.  Everyone had to play every position.  So it was my turn to play catcher, which totally sucks in T-Ball but whatever.

 

So the first inning I'm playing catcher, one of the kids hits the ball and literally fires the bat right at me.  I catch it square across my chest and it smashes both upper arms as well.  I go down in a heap and I can barely breathe.  I come up bawling because I'm in so much pain.

 

My mother comes over, gets down on one knee and tells me to quit bawling like a baby because I'm embarrassing her.

 

I had bruises across my chest and biceps for awhile but at least they healed.  The scars on my inner child are pretty much forever.  😄

 

Quite possibly my worse moment as a father was my son playing tee-ball. I hung out in the dugout to help the coach when it was time to wrangle the kids to bat. 

 

My son, playing left field, picks something up off the grass and starts running toward me in the dugout. Just as he approaches the infield between 3rd and shortstop, the kid at bat hits a grounder right at my son, who jumps over the ball and keeps running to me. I leave the dugout to get him, and standing in front of everyone he hands me a ladybug and says "Can you hold this for me, please?"

 

I threw the ladybug on the ground and yelled -- I mean, YELLED at him to get back on the field because he was letting everyone down. He starts crying as he walks back out to the field.  I turn around and every phucking parent is looking at me like I just beat their kid.

 

Still bothers me to even type this story.

[Alaska Darin]

23 minutes ago, IDBillzFan said:

 

Quite possibly my worse moment as a father was my son playing tee-ball. I hung out in the dugout to help the coach when it was time to wrangle the kids to bat. 

 

My son, playing left field, picks something up off the grass and starts running toward me in the dugout. Just as he approaches the infield between 3rd and shortstop, the kid at bat hits a grounder right at my son, who jumps over the ball and keeps running to me. I leave the dugout to get him, and standing in front of everyone he hands me a ladybug and says "Can you hold this for me, please?"

 

I threw the ladybug on the ground and yelled -- I mean, YELLED at him to get back on the field because he was letting everyone down. He starts crying as he walks back out to the field.  I turn around and every phucking parent is looking at me like I just beat their kid.

 

Still bothers me to even type this story.

Parenting will bring out the stupid pretty fast.

[Joe]

Did either of you ever have to umpire in coach pitch? That's the worst

[Alaska Darin]

5 minutes ago, Joe said:

Did either of you ever have to umpire in coach pitch? That's the worst

I coached in a coach pitch league.  The very first day I told every parent if they didn't wanna be an assistant coach, to shut the &#%$ up about literally everything.  It's little kid baseball, not the friggin' MLB. 

 

 

[Joe]

14 minutes ago, Alaska Darin said:

I coached in a coach pitch league.  The very first day I told every parent if they didn't wanna be an assistant coach, to shut the &#%$ up about literally everything.  It's little kid baseball, not the friggin' MLB. 

 

 

I had some dad complaining about balls and strikes.. eventually I told the guy he was welcome to come umpire, that I didn't need his shit.

 

 

 

The ex loved that moment

[IDBillzFan]

28 minutes ago, Joe said:

Did either of you ever have to umpire in coach pitch? That's the worst

 

I never umped, but I coached my son's flag football team once.

 

Once.

 

New coaches got the players they got. Returning coaches could pick up to four players to carry over. It was a bloodbath. Then we did a faith-based soccer program called "Upwards" and it was awesome because it was geared towards getting kids to play against their own skill level. The kids were evaluated, and then assigned a colored wrist band. This kept the behemoth from being lined up across from the midget. It was competitive and fun.

 

 

[Alaska Darin]

3 minutes ago, IDBillzFan said:

New coaches got the players they got. Returning coaches could pick up to four players to carry over. It was a bloodbath.

Every league I've ever been associated with did a day or two eval of players and then dispensed them equally based on the system we agreed on.  Anything else is just going to make most of the kids not wanna play.

[Ann]

1 hour ago, IDBillzFan said:

 

Quite possibly my worse moment as a father was my son playing tee-ball. I hung out in the dugout to help the coach when it was time to wrangle the kids to bat. 

 

My son, playing left field, picks something up off the grass and starts running toward me in the dugout. Just as he approaches the infield between 3rd and shortstop, the kid at bat hits a grounder right at my son, who jumps over the ball and keeps running to me. I leave the dugout to get him, and standing in front of everyone he hands me a ladybug and says "Can you hold this for me, please?"

 

I threw the ladybug on the ground and yelled -- I mean, YELLED at him to get back on the field because he was letting everyone down. He starts crying as he walks back out to the field.  I turn around and every phucking parent is looking at me like I just beat their kid.

 

Still bothers me to even type this story.

 

Better than my grandmother who used to go to her son's baseball games and shout out, "hey Mike (she actually would use his last name so there was no doubt who she meant) you suck!" Another favorite was, "You play like a girl!"

 

She started this when he started little league.

 

My uncle was a track and field scholarship student at a major university, so a pretty good athlete.

 

Not to go soft in her old age, she would do the same to my brother whenever she came to visit.

[IDBillzFan]

7 minutes ago, Alaska Darin said:

Every league I've ever been associated with did a day or two eval of players and then dispensed them equally based on the system we agreed on.  Anything else is just going to make most of the kids not wanna play.

 

That was the problem with that flag league. It was one thing if your kids were 6 or 7, but by 13 they start to separate and the only thing some kids were learning was they were shitty athletes who have no business enjoying sports. I hated it. 

[Alaska Darin]

9 minutes ago, Ann said:

 

Better than my grandmother who used to go to her son's baseball games and shout out, "hey Mike (she actually would use his last name so there was no doubt who she meant) you suck!" Another favorite was, "You play like a girl!"

 

She started this when he started little league.

 

My uncle was a track and field scholarship student at a major university, so a pretty good athlete.

 

Not to go soft in her old age, she would do the same to my brother whenever she came to visit.

 

[Alaska Darin]

4 minutes ago, IDBillzFan said:

 

That was the problem with that flag league. It was one thing if your kids were 6 or 7, but by 13 they start to separate and the only thing some kids were learning was they were shitty athletes who have no business enjoying sports. I hated it. 

At that age there were like A, B, and C leagues.  There were always ways to allow kids to play. 

 

My biggest issue growing up was football because the weight limits were too broad.  I was a little dude and some of those kids were literally twice my weight.  People used to say "when you have the ball, you run like a deer." 

 

Lady, I'm literally afraid for my life.

[IDBillzFan]

7 minutes ago, Alaska Darin said:

At that age there were like A, B, and C leagues.  There were always ways to allow kids to play. 

 

My biggest issue growing up was football because the weight limits were too broad.  I was a little dude and some of those kids were literally twice my weight.  People used to say "when you have the ball, you run like a deer." 

 

Lady, I'm literally afraid for my life.

 

Fortunately I learned early on that I was not meant to play sports. There was simply no joy in getting pushed around by dudes who were bigger, faster and stronger than me.

 

So I joined the drama club, where I was pushed around by the same dudes who were bigger, faster and stronger than I was, but now for a completely new reason.

 

[Alaska Darin]

3 minutes ago, IDBillzFan said:

 

Fortunately I learned early on that I was not meant to play sports. There was simply no joy in getting pushed around by dudes who were bigger, faster and stronger than me.

 

So I joined the drama club, where I was pushed around by the same dudes who were bigger, faster and stronger than I was, but now for a completely new reason.

 

That's literally the reason I moved to Safety.  99% of the time I just launched myself into people who were being held up/slowed down by other people. 

 

It didn't take me long to realize I was only playing in fear 1% of the time, which was the exact inverse of what happened when I played offense.  My best offensive memory in high school was a crack back block where I literally ear-holed the other team's best player on an end around and knocked him out for like 2 seconds.  He got up and chased me around for what seemed like an eternity.  Luckily I was blessed with water bug quickness, so he never really got close to me.  That shit woulda been viral AF if it happened today.  Especially since I was laughing really loudly as he was trying to end my life.

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

34 minutes ago, IDBillzFan said:

 

Fortunately I learned early on that I was not meant to play sports. There was simply no joy in getting pushed around by dudes who were bigger, faster and stronger than me.

 

So I joined the drama club, where I was pushed around by the same dudes who were bigger, faster and stronger than I was, but now for a completely new reason.

 

 

I had no athletic or acting ability, so I founded the chess club.  I got pushed around by everyone.